here we go again

 oh well i read my post from yesterday and god i sound so weird lets ignore that yeah,,, that was js ost mental breakdown me i swear im not usually like that 👍

also i js suddenly wondered, are we allowed to blog after pop??? bc i feel like currently its the only thing holding me back from crying again

i cant even believe this is a friday,, like what??? theres no parade its all js exams and bleh some weird long break that i cant even enjoy bc im gonna overthink sm and not stick to my planned schedule bc of overthinking

i know it was sappy yesterday when i said i missed yall and idc tbh nobody knows who i am except yall (man that was so scary vivia came up to me and went I SAW UR POST YESTERDAY SO FUNNY like yay ppl can tell who i am from what im talking about but then also kinda mildly creepy??? its ok i love vivia 👍)

i want parades again. like i get it theres stress behind what goes on but like i just miss the whole routine

i should probably be studying now and not overshare on a blog that literally anyone can see if they have the link??? but i probably will hang around here for a while

i cant wait for myes to be over and i can just cry and overthink and sleep without worrying about exams,,, but the thing is will this feeling last when myes end??? not that i want it to stay its js that i feel bad at the wrong time a LOT

also my screentime has been going down again (my mom will be very happy she hasnt rlly been checking it a lot in the past few weeks when it actually was high but now my screentime so low but she asks me why im alw on my phone well idk) idk if im happy ab the whole low screentime thing bc 1. i suddenly stopped texting ppl a lot and im scared im gonna go back to that phase last year where i stopped interacting w ppl and just stayed sad and 2. my screen time being wayyyy tooo low tells me that i spend most of my time thinking irationally and not exactly studying bc im not ticking things off the list either

its so weird to overshare here bc so many ppl can see this sigh but hey as long as the identity remains unknown, all is chill

and what even was that hmt paper today???? all the hmt (across all languages) complained ab the paper 2??? man i didnt even know what was going on in that second compre or the split the word thingy? i think shreeya(?) complained ab it js now idk anyways im gonna read some blog posts and hope that the sudden wave of sadness goes away bc the tears are alw js sitting in the back and even the smallest thing feels like it can trigger a waterfall

i js want to lie down in the middle of the courtyard after parades when the aunty is js trying to kick us out but nobody actually wants to go home

i almost publsihed it without saying bye that would have been so abrupt and funny but byebye

ALL OF U ARE DOING SO WELL!!! JS PUSH THROUGH A BIT MORE AND WE WILL BE THROUGH WOOOOO DONT DIE  WANT TO SEE ALL 13 (12 if i dont count myself?) ALIVE AND STUPID ON 18/05 (yea we are definitely seeing e/o right after myes end but still giving it an actual date feels more real 🔥🔥🔥

byebye