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 i dont know im hungry and im reading a really boring book but i dont like stopping it to move onto another one (my momma didnt raise a quitter) DJKHKJDHJ ok but i really dont like leaving books incomplete its such a weird feeling so im gonna force myself to finish one of us is lying,,, its so terrible i seriously thought it was gonna be some actual mystery but like its just a bunch of trashy r/s and terrible communication (idk if its written like that bc thats how immature r/s are like or wtv) also im hungry but lazy to eat its really my own problem but yea js wanted to put it out there

bleh im so like empty like it feels so weird i dont think ive accepted it that pop has happened,,, for some reason i think after june we're js gonna go back to parades and weewoo it js goes on? im terrible at accepting change (but i think im getting better slowly so thats good)

someone said they knew which blogs were mine but i suspect it greatly bc half our squad sounds the same ngl plus like im super inconsistent,, sometimes i sign off sometimes i dont (its actually a tactic so like ppl wont be so sure who i am) gyah ok also i havent been emoji-ing on blog hm but ive been using more on text (its ironically but im scared its gonna become unironic)

i know i keep saying this but some part of me always wants to go back to second half of last year,,, like everything was js so chill and i got to spend more time relaxed and not worrying? for some reason even EYEs werent bad idk the whole vibe of second half of last year was so good just so good,, im saying only some part of me bc i still obviously wanna grow (?) and do new things and have like better experiences but im js saying that that time of last year was really really nice and appreciated by me

i also changed so much as a person now (idk if its good or bad) like theres definitely good parts like i try to prioritise myself at times and like im more mature too? but i feel like the bad part is i have become unattached (?) like detached? from stuff,,, idk why im saying this online but like it feels like a safe space ig,,, like to elaborate: i used to allow things to affect me which actually shows evidence that i care ab something,, but these days i kinda just decide i wont let it affect me and it somehow works? but it also puts me in a spot where i dont know if thats how im supposed to be reacting and like it makes me sound like i dont care about stuff sometimes when actually i do care but im js scared that showing it makes me vulnerable I KINDA REGRET SAYING IT HERE LIKE I KNOW I CAN TALK TO PEOPLE AB IT INSTEAD BUT THAT MEANS ITS A DIRECT CONVO AND THEY WILL HAVE TO DEAL W IT BEING A CONVERSATON and idw to put ppl in a place where they have to deal w me being like that like idw to show vulnerability to anything to anyone bc it feels like so weird like it could possibly shatter how the person expected me to be? and like idk BLEH

why do yall even read my blogs i dont understand,, half the time its js me reflecting on Life idk man it sounds pretty boring unless u wanna laugh at my bad decisions and clown ways of managing myself

i got to see sooth on tues and wed hehehehehehe i saw nylon and ananya on tues! also the hello kitty post person (u need to get an in-blog name rn it so hard) i think i saw u tues wed and thurs and nat on thurs ok basically ive been seeing u rats everywhere so all is good whew

i think ive been more social lately which is kinda weird but im not complaining cause ig its not so bad when its like moderate and u get ur own time in between and like its not forced?

ok my goal for tdy is to finish the chem hol hw, consolidate an application form for smth and plan out what im gonna do this hols like productively ig,,, im also gonna try to be less detached from stuff cause i know that even tho it prevents me from getting hurt for the instant its not a very good thing cause its js me putting up walls and it also might hurt those around me if they think i genuinely dont care,,, so yups I NEVER EVEN HAVE NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS ITS ALWAYS ME BUILDING MYSELF DURING JUNE HOLS ITS SO FUNNY almost like my year starts in june all the time (at least for the past 3 years?)

ok ill stop the blog here byebye take care drink water and try to eat your meals guys!!!